The confusing nature of feeling...

I've recently been provoked to think and reflect on my current feelings...

The other day, Yuula and I synchronized in our vague, yet present, melancholia in hopes to better understand what it is that's creeping deep in the dark. I know the importance of addressing these kinds of personal issues but it's the actual addressing that always seems to mess with me. It's been a constant issue that has no end and receives no affect from the relativism i throw at it. Maybe the "throwing" is the actual problem... like the way I think of things. I blame psychology for this... amongst other things.

Been thinking about the protests in Egypt alot too. Went to the protest for a moment on Saturday and couldn't even really engage with what I was seeing because my critical/observing eye was dominating my ability to comprehend. Really, this is a massive and significant event (there are so many events to think bout... always). I kept looking at all the people and idealizing their abilities to stand up for what they believed in. People who shout shock me. I was also totally fascinated by the level of visual/idealogical contrast that was going on during the protest. The micro and macro of the whole thing was so f-ing interesting to me... it was romantic for a moment. A real example of abundance and divergence. Loved it.

I feel the energy.

I think that all-in-all I am okay, I just feel the rift right now. MY external-self and MY internal-self are in funny places. I will compromise though because I know that my ability to think about the future is never ending. This I take pride in.

end of story: I miss baltimore.

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